Toward a vision of biking-forward Brooklyn park roads, I’m proposing a ban of all things in this list, in addition to cars:

- B-balls, fútbols, and footballs without wrist straps
- Any kind of scooting apparatus, with motor or not
- Ponyback riding sans dung-catching bags
- Quadcycling on main loop, just no
- Sk8r bois on longboards going against traffic
- Alpha cyclist bros. No shoaling, whistling to pass, or unsought drafting. INSTANT ban for Strava KOM lords who must 1-up a lady passing him

@joy also pls add a citibiking station on [Vast Briny] Av & Flatbush Av so i can lazily roll downhill and walk back uphill

@ranjit I'm going to start a prog-ska band and call it Vast Briny

@joy but, um, lots of folks put signs up all about town: "Longboarding Is Not Criminal" and, obviously, no vinyl sticky stuff manufacturing company would print that slogan if it wasn't right?

@mlc - Oh, good point, I didn’t think about that complication. Obviously, our solution is a global ban on all vinyl sticky stuffy manufacturing too. Down with our vinyl sticky stuff industry!

@joy @mlc ...this ban will grow and grow until it outlaws banning in any form, strictly proscribing all activity or thought, winding up with us all mum in a dark room, totally still, in horror of violating our Total Ban

@joy @mlc look out: @phooky, a sticky vinyl tycoon (stynoon), is trying to cast FUD upon this important mission!

@ranjit @joy @mlc @phooky that's ridiculous! just look at th-- *six thousand vinyl bits fall out of coat*

@phooky @ranjit @joy @mlc @phooky you know what is said: if you outlaw sticky vinyl, i'm gonna go and dig out my vinyl cutting robot

@kit @phooky @joy @mlc @phooky why did you bury that poor robot originally? Its razor claws probably got all rusty down in that soil with all your potato crops

@ranjit @kit @phooky @joy @mlc you know that old saw, "you can't grow vinyl cutting robots without planting vinyl cutting robots"

@ranjit @kit @phooky @joy @mlc Today, on Bob Vila's "This Old Saw": Bob shows how an old saw will rip your bits to bits

@ranjit @phooky @joy @mlc @phooky oops, i forgot that canonically i was posing at farming and not committing criminal acts outright

@kit in my noggincanon you farm roots and limas by day and only flout laws by night (and on saturdays, sundays, and major holidays)

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