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did a ufo land in your big patch of corn last night or did i do crop-donuts in a flashy trans am, blasting old country songs and waking up your cows? who can say? it was probably a ufo though.

this is just to say
i am growing
in an orchard
on this farm

and which
you will probably
tomorrow morning

i'm gonna go pick
a handful now
so juicy
and so cold

i was watching sci-fi films about ufos, martians, and such and now all i can think about is growing kohlrabi

my buddy, only crypto coin you wanna hoard is this: bird food. world's full of birds and all birds gotta sup.

i built a scarycrow on sunday out of hay, broomsticks, a plastic pumpkin, and an italian suit that i won playing cards against a ship's captain and his dog. i also put a tiny boom box in it so it plays iggy pop songs for my bird pals.

i am still figuring out how it works but i think a ranch is just a farm without any plants growing so as soon as i dig up all my turnips, my farm turns into a ranch until i can plant my parsnips. as soon as parsnips start growing, my ranch turns back into a farm.

right now, as far as farm animals go, it's just goats on my farm. my darling goats jump and run and play all day long but i cannot hitch any of my goats to this plow

okay but what do y'all think about parsnips?

if you want to go comparing it to farming, robbing banks is not so difficult.

so i am told.

[standing on a soapbox and shouting into a snowstorm] turnips! turnips! boil 'um! mash 'um! stick 'um in a soup!

i was driving a tractor full of turnips through a blizzard all last night, down winding icy roads, only to find out that nobody wants turnips!

morning again, toiling at this farm i bought with paintings from that uffizi burglary. all day pigs go on asking for oats. buddy,

pivoting from "clumsy scooby doo villain" to "living on a farm with flowing, lustrous hair"

this location is not a location of honor.
no auspicious occasion past in this spot.
nothing of any worth is in this spot.
this location is a form of communication and a part of a group of communications.
follow this warning!
transmitting this warning was important to us.
- inscription on my family's crypt

driving cross-country in a van full of crystals and cats, waiting for horns to sprout from my skull

tonight i'm plotting my magnum opus: looting that grant wood painting of a man holding back a curtain to show a young washington, but with an old man's mug, holding an ax as an arbor lays dying and as his dad has a fit.

🎶 up on your rooftop / click click click / down through your chimbly / a gang of gangly cat burglars 🎶

Show additional (Mark II) is a lipogrammatic Mastodon for all.
Ambigram by B. Morin, CC BY-SA 4.0