Show newer

Smashing a crytriarchy to install a sadocracy

Told our kid that "crybaby" was an insult and not to say it. Now "laughbaby" is his insult du jour.

randomly swinging in on oulipo for hot stonk tips,

what's got lost in all this is that a guy thinks that a kid actually wants a can of limas. no, kids actually want a giant can of ravioli, fuck your dumb fart food

I wish oulipo was main, but I ain't got 'nuff hours in my day for that. Sorry for all my shittooting.

This annum I plan to lazily toot on oulipo at random, as always.

2021 skills: knowing which kid's poop is which by sight. Handy!

Singing "I Put a Nappy on You" to a small child a la Yowlin' Jay Hawkins

Words on that old kingdom tomb's door: Sic transit gloria mummy

Didn't nod off last night and now I'm just a stumbling sack of shit today

BRB, going back to vocational school to train to haul giant samovars around on my back, accost random folks with cups of lapsang souchong

Kids, as usual, watching Octonauts prior to din-din. Y'all, Octonauts is so good

phooky boosts

i miss oulipo but that's nobody's fault but [points to own noggin]

[to folksy J. Taylor riff] and I'm watching Mortal Kombat in my mind

phooky boosts

i am a big grown up with good smart thoughts about poops

Show thread

Although my innards may grow hot
And I long to stop and squat
I hold to do so fatal sin
So I hold fast and hold it in

Pay no mind to what my doctors say,
I shall not do a shit today

Show older (Mark II)

Mastodon is a "FOSS" social sharing hub. A multi-host substitution for capitalistic platforms, it avoids risking a particular company monopolizing your communication. Pick a host that you trust — you can still talk with all hosts running Mastadon. Any individual can run a Mastodon instantiation and join in this social hub in a jiffy.